Comments on: Divorce – Breaking up or Breaking Free?

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 16:19:35 +0000

“I was exhausted by the energy I spent keeping up the front of a functional marriage.”

That is quite a powerful statement. You’re scaring me Barbara. Quit reading my mind. That article covers so many things that have been going through my head in the last few weeks.

By: Tucker

Tucker — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 16:12:00 +0000

Really Good Work…. You Helping People A lot

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 04:16:33 +0000

Thank you! You often write very interesting articles. You improved my mood.

By: Travis

Travis — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:29:31 +0000

Good work. I agree with your assesment and have experienced most of what you talk about, now I have three new children in my life!

By: Ed

Ed — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:14:52 +0000

Good work coach your austinlifegardeners link appears at the top of the list when I googled Austin Life Coach. You’re doing it!

By: Ed

Ed — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:09:56 +0000

Exactly as clear as mud. Now that I think of it I’ve never heard of the term used outside of a conversation about drug abuse.

What I’ve seen, not that I’m an expert, is that if your spouse calls you in sick while you get dialysis its support, but if they call you in sick when you’re hungover its co-dependency.

Its like ‘enabling (negative) versus helping (positive)–the terms are so loaded with meanings picked up via popular media presentations of what ‘Freudian Talk Therapy’ is and what ‘Drug Therapy’ is that I sometimes think a new, humanistic, case-by-case, non-diagnostic vocabulary is needed. Do coaches deliberately try to avoided words loaded with diagnostic baggage.

By: Buy Viagra

Buy Viagra — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:10:11 +0000

I saw this page from Facebook (a friend of mine posted it). After checking your article, I clicked “Like” and also reshared it myseld. More power.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:36:07 +0000

I so needed that and thank for being such an incredible friend, inspiration and writer!

By: barb

barb — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:16:36 +0000

When I was getting my divorce, I drove up to Austin to go to church & Don Miguel Ruiz (author of “The Four Agreements) was the guest lecturer. It was the one time I’d driven from San Antonio to go to Church & there he is talking about what I’d been thinking about. The universe is a mystery – messages are everywhere

By: barb

barb — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:14:08 +0000

The best explanation I’ve had of codependency is the metaphor of two trees. In a healthy relationship, both trees stand tall with their branches overlapping each other. In a codependent relationship, the trees are wrapped up in each other and neither tree could stand on it’s own. Even more likely, they will chock each other.

Codependent is when one partner “takes care of” the other partner to the complete exclusion of him/herself. This care taking goes beyond what is done for a partner with a health crisis. In fact, it becomes a way to escape taking responsibility for one’s own life, “but I have to make sure s/he . . . ”

The most obvious examples are in cases of substance abuse where one partner will call the other partner’s job and say, “s/he is sick today.” It keeps the person with the problem from taking responsibility for it, thereby increasing the likelihood s/he will continue having the problem.

Clear as mud?